Mel, Texas

I had once shared my political views with my parents, but looking back, I believe it was because it was expected of me. I had never "bucked" the system, never challenged their beliefs or political stance. We were able to talk politics, and at times, my parents didn't vote straight party line. My mom had been a Rush Limbaugh listener from the early 90's. She was in sales and would listen to Rush all throughout her travels.

I recall even watching his show on TV - and recording it when we couldn't watch it live. Something changed and she didn't pay attention to politics as much after Obama got elected. She even went through a period where she didn't listen to Limbaugh. Her focus became much more on church and seemingly dedicating every waking minute to doing something around the church - paining, gardening, sewing...you name it.

Sometimes my dad and I would give her a hard time "What are you going to do at the church today?" She became heavily involved in bible studies almost idolizing some of the teachers. She immersed herself (and my dad) with the preaching of Charles Stanley. Any book or product from his church organization was a new purchase for them - even buying children's books for my son. I didn't think much of it at the time, but now seeing their (my mom mainly) propensity to follow and completely immerse in such things makes more sense as to how I lost them to Trump and right-wing media.

Somewhere around 2013 (my memory is a bit fuzzy) she picked back up into politics. She also picked back up into an "end of times" mindset. The both seemed to be connected. When Trump hinted he might run in 2015 for the 2016 race, my parents were happy. I hadn't yet "bucked the system" and sort of followed along. He spoke his mind and seemed like a strong person to have as president. 2016 was a rough personal year for me and I vaguely recall voting for him. I'm ashamed.

Over the course of the last 4 years, my parents have continued to seek out only news sources that are suggested by her evangelical friends, social media, Facebook, YouTube...which has led them to OANN, NewsMax and others. Fox News was always a go-to, but the more extreme right-wing sources became their staple diet. My mom went on difference tangents - getting off Facebook due to the suspected governmental spying, blocking the location on her phone due to "being tracked" and questioning every single update on her Android device thinking it was a hack. She had me bookmark all of her end times media sources and even told me she checked the world seismic activity every morning.

It got to a point where I had to block my dad on Facebook. He shared nothing but false news and hateful memes and comments. Who were these people? One that really shocked me was a picture of Trump signing an executive order with a mirage of Jesus behind him, holding his hand as he held the pen. Wait, what? This is well before I went on my own personal quest to learn more about Trump and his family. I was disgusted even at the mere suggestion of that picture.

I started to see the divide between us. I never spoke of politics because I knew I was going off in a new direction...independent of my parents for the first time. They would make snide comments or rant about something and I would listen but never respond. There was no point. I tried to get them to watch some documentaries, namely "The Great Hack" and "The Social Dilemma." But each time, my dad made some excuse like "oh, Netflix is down." Hmph. It's not down for me and I live 20 minutes away. Whatever. I then found the film on YouTube and provided a link getting around their "Netflix is down" excuse. Nothing. I suspect they looked it up on one of their far-right media sources and decided it was evil.

They've mocked mask wearing like it's the worst thing they've ever had to do. My mom tells me how she "hates to wear one" and rips it off the second she steps out of a store or restaurant. Yeah, mom - go get 'em. I'm sure people are seeing that and it's really making an impact. She even went so far as to get sheep stickers for her mask to make fun of the "sheeple" that are "followers."

I wonder who the real followers are here. They've dismissed COVID-19 because my mom thinks she "had it" in early 2020 and is therefore immune (no proof of this however). They tout the herd-immunity garbage without knowing that it takes a certain percentage of people to receive a vaccine to achieve it. Oh, did I tell you - they are against the COVID vaccine? They've stocked up on handguns and ammunition and store them in ammunition boxes in a guest closet that neighbors the room my pre-teen son stays in when he visits them. No safe.

Over the course of the last 6 months, I've spent a lot of time arming myself with knowledge on Trump. Learning about his family and their dynamics (Too Much and Never Enough by Mary Trump), how he treated people that were loyal and dedicated to him (Disloyal, A Memoir by Michael Cohen) and trying to understand the cult of personality that Trump has created (The Cult of Trump by Steven Hassan). I've spent countless hours watching and re-watching documentaries of the like hoping to find some undeniable piece of evidence I can show my parents.

While it is all alarming and eye-opening, none of it would ever convince them otherwise. My mom and I had a falling out at the beginning of 2021 when I asked her to read Michael Cohen's book. I told her she probably wouldn't, but I indicated how moved I was when it was over (actually sobbing when my husband asked me what I thought). I was hit with a flood of emotions knowing that the way Trump treated Michael Cohen could be exactly the way they would treat me if I didn't follow their ways and beliefs 100%.

I told my parents I loved them and was looking forward to a more peaceful and inclusive 2021. The response I got was actually an error on my mom's part. She attempted to send my message to someone else (friend/family - don't know) saying "There's that inclusive word again. What do I have to be inclusive about? , " but...she sent it to me. I haven't gotten an apology even after I indicated how hurt I was that she was making fun of me like that to someone else. I also told them that the guns would need to be stored in a safe before my son could come visit again. No response.

I don't know who they are anymore. I'm their only child and my son is their only grandchild. To see them not be able to at least say they're sorry for mocking me to someone else is baffling. I'm sad and angry that they've been turned into these people. Maybe it's also a combination of them always being these people, me not going against them and therefore not seeing what they are capable of.

Regardless, the right-wing media has played to and amplified their base feelings which has led to their isolation and further reliance on said "news" outlets. Ultimately, it has led to their inability to accept anything that challenges their version of reality.