Rhea, San Diego, CA
Growing up I would say my parents were “fiscally conservative but socially liberal”. They loved Reagan’s economic policies, but were always accepting of my friends, which included a lot of LGBTQ people. They allowed my brother’s girlfriend to live with us when things were hard at her house, and even helped her get an abortion when she became pregnant as a teen. My dad was in the Navy and I remember his best friend when I was a kid was a big, black guy named Tiny. So I by no means would I say they were “right-wing wackos”.
Oh, how times have changed. Like the dad in the movie, my dad started listening to Rush Limbaugh then Fox News. By the time I was in my early 20’s, Fox News was ALL that was on at my parent’s house. They became increasingly more intolerant of anyone that wasn’t like them. In 2016, they moved to the Philippines (where my mom is from). Before leaving the states, they came to visit me in San Diego. As I was driving them to the airport, out of nowhere my dad says, “Well, if black guys would just stop doing bad things, they wouldn’t get killed by the cops.” I was LIVID! I said, “You really want to debate this with me now? I’m literally driving you to the airport and I don’t even know when I’ll see you next.” That was the last time I saw them in person.
After Trump got elected, I was not shy about my dissent on social media. On my dad’s birthday I sent him a message on Facebook wishing him a happy birthday. He responded with something along the lines of “I had to stop following you because I can’t stand how much you hate Trump” I told him that he could do what he needed to, but I would never shut up about how I thought Trump was terrible for the country.
His Facebook posts became increasingly more offensive, racist, homophobic and against everything he taught me growing up. They were just outright lies! So I unfollowed him to prevent myself from commenting and continuing the cycle of his hate. Recently I discovered that he unfriended me and blocked me on Facebook. And now his sister, my aunt, messaged me that she’s unfollowed him too. I messaged my mom pleading with her to seek out other sources of news. But all I get are regurgitated Fox News talking points. I wish it didn’t hurt as much as it does. My dad and I were so close when I was growing up, but I don’t even recognize him anymore.
In my last message to my mom, I told her that they could take solace that they raised an anti-capitalist, progressive, pro-choice, feminist, vegan. While I know this won’t heal our relationship, I just want them to know that I am the opposite of them.